Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
false alarm. still invincible.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
