i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
