He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
