I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
