I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
They took my balls.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
