I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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