sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
