He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
