This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
