On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
