Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
