how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
