i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
