it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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