I don't think brook has ever known best
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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