lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
