Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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