If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
