I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
