Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have already put on my inside pants.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
