Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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