I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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