what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
