Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
