dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
