I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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