yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
FUCK WHALES
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
