So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
