shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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