sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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