He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize