it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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