do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
