smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
