I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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