It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
