I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
