i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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