Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
