mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
