I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
