i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
