The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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