i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
