I don't usually arrange sex via text message
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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