Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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