hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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