He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
