Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
