Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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