I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
