Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
