What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
