Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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