Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
